1 00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:03,394 Amy: So this is technically an Irish pub. Is it? 2 00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:04,743 - Mm. - I mean, the four-leaf clover. 3 00:00:04,787 --> 00:00:05,875 I don't know. Anyway. 4 00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:07,181 Oh, it's Henry. 5 00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:09,574 "Where are you at? It's almost sex o'clock." 6 00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:10,662 Ooh. 7 00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:12,447 - Just block him. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 8 00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:14,101 Oh, I put this on my tab, by the way. 9 00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:18,322 Oh, Amy, in lieu of cash, can I give you a gift card 10 00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:20,498 to Fields or Les and Cathy's Coffee? 11 00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:23,153 Free refills on Tuesdays before 10:00. 12 00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:25,068 In lieu? Are we French? 13 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,852 Jodie, did you rob a CVS? What? 14 00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:28,593 Yeah.No. I buy all these at the supermarket 15 00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:30,334 so that they go on the food bill 16 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,467 and then Dan doesn't know when I'm spending money on myself. 17 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:33,816 Oh, my God. 18 00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:35,992 Well, there's a business degree put to good use. 19 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,080 Right? 20 00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,342 Oh, it's tragic. 21 00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:40,257 Waiter: Here's your check, ladies. 22 00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,130 Take the leftovers with me. 23 00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:44,957 Oh, my God. Are you homeless? 24 00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:47,047 No, I'm minimum wage. 25 00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:48,744 I have to do things on the cheap now. 26 00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:51,268 - Ahh. - Seriously? 27 00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:52,443 - Hi. - Let's go, ma'am. 28 00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:54,315 Where -- Whoa! Discrimination! 29 00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:56,534 Whoa, whoa! Brutal! 30 00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:58,188 Against people with no money! 31 00:00:58,232 --> 00:01:00,060 You see this? That took an interesting turn. 32 00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:01,148 Jodie, will you grab my phone? 33 00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,888 Yep, got it. 34 00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:05,152 Anyway, I have got to go. 35 00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:08,416 Got to be back home in "sexteen" minutes. 36 00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:10,287 You leave the tip. 37 00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:12,246 Wait! I don't own cash. 38 00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:14,726 Um... 39 00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:19,035 ♪♪ 40 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,515 ♪ Hey! 41 00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:22,082 ♪♪ 42 00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,300 Oh, God. 43 00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:25,911 Oh, God. Just five more minutes. 44 00:01:25,955 --> 00:01:27,217 Mm. 45 00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:29,176 Oh, my G-- Oh, my God. 46 00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:30,916 What? What are you doing? 47 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,222 I'm just looking at you. 48 00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:33,571 Why? Oh, come on. 49 00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,225 Who does that? That's weird. 50 00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:38,054 Because, um, I love you and I think you're gorgeous, 51 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,187 and you have a little something in your hair... 52 00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:41,797 Oh, God... maybe oatmeal. 53 00:01:43,973 --> 00:01:45,322 Mmm. 54 00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:46,671 That was a teething biscuit. 55 00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:47,585 Really good. Oh. 56 00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:49,587 Julia's getting a molar, so... 57 00:01:49,631 --> 00:01:50,936 Alright, I'm gonna take a shower. 58 00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:52,460 No, hey. Don't you, uh... 59 00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:54,114 Don't you want to get dirty before you get clean? 60 00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,245 Oh, my God. Again? 61 00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:56,551 We just did it last night. 62 00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:58,118 I just can't get enough of you. 63 00:01:58,161 --> 00:01:59,249 Come on. What -- Hold on. 64 00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:01,947 I can feel a little bit extra. 65 00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:04,341 Oh, that's disappointing. It was just toothpaste.Oh. 66 00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:06,126 Look, if you're having an affair 67 00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:08,476 and you're doing this out of guilt, 68 00:02:08,519 --> 00:02:10,130 I'm good. I'm really good. 69 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,001 And maybe cut your toenails. 70 00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:14,786 I'm growing them out for you. 71 00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:18,138 ♪♪ 72 00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:19,443 You guys! Regret. It's regret. 73 00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:21,141 You guys, I have the most scandalous gossip. 74 00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,664 Thanks for this. 75 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:26,146 One of the other moms at school got found out for having... 76 00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:28,148 an OnlyThrills account. 77 00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:29,758 I know. I know. 78 00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,760 Can someone please tell me what OnlyThrills is? 79 00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,327 You don't know? 80 00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:36,068 It's a website where normal, ugly people can be porn stars, 81 00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:38,636 and they do either sexy stuff or just mundane things 82 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,160 like washing dishes or eating. 83 00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:41,987 Look, I bookmarked the mother. 84 00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:43,511 Look at her. Oh! 85 00:02:43,554 --> 00:02:48,168 Whoa. I can't believe we know a sex worker. 86 00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:50,518 She's not a sex worker, Jodie. 87 00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:52,607 She's pulling in $50k a year 88 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:55,784 letting people watch her suds up her lopsided boobs. 89 00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:58,482 Oh, you guys, her boobs are lopsided, look.Mm-hmm. 90 00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:01,268 Half of her had fun in high school, huh? 91 00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:02,704 Wait, guys. 92 00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:04,227 People aren't even showing their faces on this. 93 00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:05,881 Look at this one. 94 00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:08,710 This is just someone's feet being squirted with baby oil. 95 00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:11,930 Wait. People will pay to look at feet? 96 00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:13,323 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 97 00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:14,585 In other news, Jodie, you're fake spiritual. 98 00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:16,500 Is there any planets in retrograde right now, 99 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:17,849 or like a horny moon rising, 100 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:20,330 because Henry's all over my jock. 101 00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:21,897 We had sex last night, this morning. 102 00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,464 It's unprecedented. 103 00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:25,683 Did you know that you can burn up to 300 calories making love? 104 00:03:25,727 --> 00:03:27,163 Gross. Nobody's "making love." 105 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,425 We're boffing, okay? 106 00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:29,905 A lot. It's obscene. 107 00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:31,515 I mean, the rest is pretty standard. 108 00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:33,517 I have prettier feet than anyone on here. 109 00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,519 Yeah, you have very pretty feet, 110 00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:37,217 and now you're just giving it away for free 111 00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:38,566 every time you wear a flip-flop. 112 00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:40,524 Do you think? No! 113 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:42,222 Sarah! What? 114 00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:44,049 You cannot! Why? 115 00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:45,573 Why can't I have a side hustle? 116 00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:47,227 I want to buy that sofa I've been visiting 117 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,837 at Carol Convertibles. 118 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,534 God, I would love to take her home. 119 00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,275 It's sad you're more excited about a sofa 120 00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:53,972 than anygirl you've ever dated. 121 00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:56,932 It's that soft. Wait, so you're gonna get naked? 122 00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:58,238 On camera? 123 00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,456 On the Internet?! 124 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,893 Jodie, calm down. It's just my feet. 125 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,591 I've been using my brain my whole life to get by. 126 00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,114 Now I'm gonna use my bod. 127 00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:06,463 That-a-girl. Well, I could never. 128 00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:08,900 I mean, I am a mom, after all. 129 00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:10,598 Ah! Yeah. To the left. 130 00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,426 Just a little. Okay, okay. 131 00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,906 Swing your knee over this -- this way. 132 00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:17,039 Oh. 133 00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:18,562 Okay. 134 00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,610 There we go. Um, can we just pull the booster out? 135 00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:23,741 No, they're impossible to get in. 136 00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:26,048 They take forever.Um... 137 00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:27,267 Oh, this is rough. 138 00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:28,485 You know what? We can take it out. 139 00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:30,008 I have a manual in the glovebox. 140 00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:31,140 No, no, no. Hey, no, no. 141 00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:33,273 It's not your fault. It's mine. 142 00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:35,753 I mean, you're this -- This classy lady, 143 00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:38,756 and I don't even have anywhere for us to be together. 144 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,932 I should never have let my mom put her beer fridge in my room. 145 00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:43,979 She's always barging in now, especially in the mornings. 146 00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:45,807 Oh, no. I know, right? 147 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:46,938 It's so fattening. 148 00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:48,679 It's not like we can boff at my place. 149 00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:51,203 What? Oh. Amy put it in my head. 150 00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:52,727 Oh. 151 00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:54,772 You know what, Jodie? This just lights a fire under me 152 00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:56,557 to get my fitness empire off the ground. 153 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,689 You know, I mean, I'm already basically an influencer. 154 00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:02,432 I just need a couple more pec result photos and... 155 00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:04,434 Yeah. Once I have my own chain of gyms, 156 00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:05,696 we can have sex in one of those. 157 00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,915 Ah! And this lights a fire under me 158 00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,525 to get my organizing business going. 159 00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:10,701 Yeah! But that could take years. 160 00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:13,661 Look at us. Future power couple.Aww. 161 00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,750 Is there anywhere we can rent for an hour? 162 00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:18,056 We'll need cash for that. I'm on it. 163 00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:27,109 I'm sotired from just running around with the kids all day. 164 00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:28,632 We were painting, 165 00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,678 and we must have blown like 1,000 bubbles. 166 00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:33,463 I mean, honestly, how many bubbles can one blow? 167 00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:35,987 Um, Julia ate a puzzle piece, okay? 168 00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:38,163 So just be on the lookout for that. Yeah. 169 00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,774 I think it was, like, a cat's claw. 170 00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:42,994 Like the end of a cat's claw or something like that. 171 00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,344 Henry. Hmm? 172 00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:46,781 What is going on with you? Why are you so into me? 173 00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:49,000 Are you participating in a male hormone study? 174 00:05:49,044 --> 00:05:50,393 You're just hotter than ever. 175 00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,352 I don't know. I cut my toenails. 176 00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:53,788 I know. I can tell. 177 00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,703 This is a little alarming, okay? 178 00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:57,269 Who are you imagining I am? 179 00:05:57,313 --> 00:05:58,401 It better be someone unattainable 180 00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,664 like Angelina Jolie or Cleopatra. 181 00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:03,450 Those women are gross, and one of them's dead.Mm. 182 00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,756 This is a little embarrassing to admit, 183 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:09,499 but since you started being a hands-on mom... 184 00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:11,588 In the afternoons? Yes. 185 00:06:11,632 --> 00:06:14,069 You've made a choice to spend more time with the kids, 186 00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:17,072 and it brought out a new side of you. 187 00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:19,596 What? What side? 188 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:23,557 You know, like, more nurturing and caring. 189 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,385 You've stopped army crawling under the windows 190 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:26,908 so the kids don't know you're home. 191 00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:31,652 You don't call Luke "the one with the brown hair" anymore. 192 00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:34,350 You know what a teething biscuit is. 193 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,700 I mean, come on. You're maternal. 194 00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:38,441 You've changed. It's a turn-on. 195 00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:41,401 Unbelievable. What is that? 196 00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,707 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 197 00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:45,100 Honey, it's a compliment. 198 00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,667 Oh, my God. 199 00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,756 You're basically saying that you weren't attracted to who I was 200 00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:51,454 before I started mothering the kids... in the afternoons. 201 00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:53,717 Is "mothering" a word? 202 00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:55,240 Not what I said. Not what I said. 203 00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:56,590 And yes, I think so. 204 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,069 Well, it doesn't matter if you said it or not. 205 00:06:58,113 --> 00:07:00,289 It's what I heard, so I'm finally the woman 206 00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:01,508 that you wish you married. 207 00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,074 Then great for you. 208 00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:05,381 I-I'm kind of confused how this is a bad thing. 209 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,427 Julia: Mama. 210 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,038 Julia's teething. I need to go. 211 00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:11,953 Try to keep it in your pants. 212 00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:14,085 I -- 213 00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:16,653 Mommy's coming. Oh, boy, that's hot. 214 00:07:21,005 --> 00:07:22,746 You really need this? Yes! 215 00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,008 My feet need a lot of light. 216 00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:25,662 I-I want it to look like they're on vacation. 217 00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:28,317 Mm. This is Evan's desk lamp, and I feel dirty. 218 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,666 Stop being such a prude. 219 00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:32,364 I am letting you shoot erotica in my house. 220 00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:35,063 Oh, grow up. Amy: Ughhhh! 221 00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:36,194 Where are your kids? 222 00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,153 What? They're downstairs with yours. 223 00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:39,763 Is that the first thing that people think of when they see me? 224 00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:41,243 No. I think your hair's too blonde. 225 00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:42,897 What? It's just, it washes you out a little, 226 00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:44,464 but it's not as brassy as it was. 227 00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,422 Oh, my God. Okay. Well, Henry doesn't seem to mind. 228 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,684 Did he actually say that? 229 00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,338 Okay, he's obsessed with me right now, 230 00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:51,166 ever since I started taking care of the kids in the afternoon. 231 00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:52,950 Guys, he called me -- 232 00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:54,778 - He called me "maternal." - Aww. 233 00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:56,824 You did tell me to be careful at a crosswalk the other week. 234 00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,173 No, I didn't. Did I? 235 00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,304 Mm-hmm. You did. 236 00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:00,480 I don't recognize myself. 237 00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,133 Oh, that's why all the boffing. 238 00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:03,787 The what? The boffing. 239 00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:05,659 The sex. Oh, right. 240 00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:07,530 You sound like a little British man when you say it. Oh, thanks. 241 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,053 Well, it is derived from Middle English. 242 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:11,708 Okay. When did this turn into a Shakespeare class? 243 00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:13,710 My husband wishes I was somebody else. 244 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,495 No, he just likes the new you. 245 00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:16,931 Well, if Coleen had never died, 246 00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:18,454 I never would have started going home in the afternoons 247 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,238 to take care of the kids, and he never would have realized 248 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:22,197 how unhappy he was. 249 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,720 Mnh-mnh. 250 00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:25,592 Jodie, can I get a, um, a pillow for under my foot? 251 00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:26,723 I just want to -- I want to prop it up. 252 00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,246 Like, a decorative one. 253 00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:30,510 Just to be clear, you would never do this for me. 254 00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:32,860 Guys, I'm not doing it again tonight, okay? 255 00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:34,252 I have actual work to do, 256 00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:36,646 and I am notgonna get a UTI for his kink. 257 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:37,821 Amy, you should be happy your husband 258 00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:39,170 wants to have sex with you. 259 00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:41,521 The old you, the new you, the brassy you. 260 00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:42,739 What's this "brassy" thing? 261 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,175 You know, if more men were like him, 262 00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:46,003 OnlyThrills wouldn't even exist. 263 00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:48,005 Jodie, this pillow looks cheap. 264 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:50,268 Do you have a -- a classier one? 265 00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:54,098 But it's perfect for your seedy clients! 266 00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:55,665 You don't know they're seedy! 267 00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:57,885 This is mine. Jodie, you're being a baby. 268 00:08:57,928 --> 00:09:00,104 Amy: Break it up! Girls, girls, girls. 269 00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:02,454 Hey, hey! Break it up. Break it up. Stop with the sass! 270 00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:05,545 Both of you are in a time-out. 271 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,155 Oh, my God. 272 00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:09,679 If Henry heard me right now, he'd be so turned on.Mm. 273 00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:11,202 That was so maternal. 274 00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:16,338 No, we have to show the ugly scalloped handle 275 00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:18,601 of the serving spoon, or we're gonna lose our sponsors. 276 00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:20,255 Donna. Donna. 277 00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:23,040 Do you have to file your nails soclose to the phone? 278 00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:26,391 Oh, also, we are $400 over budget 279 00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:27,828 on the summer salad show. 280 00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:29,699 They're not even actually eatingthe lettuce. 281 00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:30,874 You know what? New lettuce is just -- 282 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,572 It's a luxury we can't afford, Donna. 283 00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:34,095 Sorry. I'm gonna be a little while. 284 00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:35,575 No, no, no. Do your thing. 285 00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,272 I'm just gonna turn the light off. 286 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:41,668 Are you kidding me? 287 00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:42,973 Henry, wake up. I'm not asleep. 288 00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,453 I just put my head down on the pillow. 289 00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,150 I can't believe you right now. 290 00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:48,500 I am a working woman. I am a boss. 291 00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:49,763 And somehow that's just -- 292 00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,373 That's just not attractive to you anymore? 293 00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,854 I mean, I-I'm just some disgusting career pig 294 00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:55,072 you have to sleep next to? 295 00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,508 What are you doing? P-Please stop. 296 00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:58,989 I just -- I just want to go to sleep. 297 00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,338 Oh, my God. Oh, no. 298 00:10:00,382 --> 00:10:02,689 Henry, are you not attracted to the old Amy? 299 00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:05,779 Did you -- Did you ever love me? What? 300 00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:07,607 If I were sitting here, just signing permission slips 301 00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:10,392 or baking an apple pie, you'd be all over me. 302 00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:11,785 If you were baking an apple pie in here, 303 00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,787 I'd have a lot of electrical questions. 304 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:16,180 Why can't you just admit that you were secretly 305 00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:17,834 waiting for me to turn into someone I'm not 306 00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:19,357 so you could fall in love with me? 307 00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:21,664 Because I'll tell you what -- The way you look at me now, 308 00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:24,232 you should see your eyes light up. 309 00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,973 It's disgusting. 310 00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:27,844 Honey, I'm not waiting for you to become anyone else. 311 00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:29,629 I love the old Amy. 312 00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:33,110 That's why I married her and... all of that. 313 00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:34,329 Oh. 314 00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:38,725 No! Then why don't you want to have sex with me? 315 00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:39,987 I'm not in the mood for sex 316 00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,989 'cause I had to fire a guy today. 317 00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:47,298 Wh-- Oh. 318 00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:48,735 Hang on a second. 319 00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,824 What do you mean? I didn't know you fire people. 320 00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:52,782 You fire people? Yeah. 321 00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,131 It's not something you brag about. 322 00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:56,003 No, yeah, no, no. No, it actually is. 323 00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:57,831 I mean, you could potentially just, like, 324 00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,528 ruin someone's life. 325 00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:00,877 And that's good? 326 00:11:00,921 --> 00:11:02,574 I did not know that you had this side to you. 327 00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,228 This is like, so... 328 00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:06,317 This is so manly. This is so powerful. 329 00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:09,581 Tell me -- Tell me everything. 330 00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:12,149 Well, I-I fire people all the time. 331 00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:13,890 How does that work? Like, what goes down? 332 00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,457 Do you, like, call them into your office and you're like, 333 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:16,850 "Hey, sit down," 334 00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:18,852 or do you just, like, slam your fist down on the table 335 00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,331 and you're like, "Get out"? 336 00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:21,550 Um, I -- both. 337 00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:23,508 Mm! Mm! 338 00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:25,032 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 339 00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:27,164 So you don't like the old Henry? 340 00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:29,689 You, uh -- You want a tough guy who fires people. 341 00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:31,342 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 342 00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:32,866 I also cut people's vacation days. 343 00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:34,650 Oh, my God. Yes, you do! 344 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:35,999 And I denied a guy's workman's comp. 345 00:11:36,043 --> 00:11:39,350 He's a single dad. Oh, my God! 346 00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:42,005 Should we hang up with Donna? 347 00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:43,877 Donna, you still with us, honey? Mm. 348 00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:51,319 Oh. Wait. 349 00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:52,712 I need this. 350 00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:53,974 I can't. I need it. 351 00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,410 You know, this happened earlier with a guy 352 00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:56,628 and a bottle of whiskey? 353 00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:57,760 It was a little darker. 354 00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:59,196 I really need this gift card 355 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,937 so I can go to Jessicrafts, buy some glue guns, 356 00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:03,113 wait for the shift change, and return them for cash. 357 00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:05,028 Why do you need cash so bad? 358 00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:07,770 Things. Ah, boyfriend things. 359 00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,076 Don't care for the judgement. 360 00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:10,773 Yes, that's part of it. 361 00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:12,383 I can't. 362 00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,081 Dan's starting to ask questions. 363 00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:15,691 Like, he doesn't think the freezer has 364 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,084 $200 worth of meat in it, so... 365 00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:18,868 I'm gonna have to find another way. 366 00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:20,740 You know, everything about you is the first 20 minutes of a "Dateline." 367 00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,959 Well, at least I'm not pimping out my toes to strangers. 368 00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:25,092 Oh, that reminds me. 369 00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:27,790 Tell me what you think. 370 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:31,228 Now, should I get heavy cotton or suede 371 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:32,752 for my new Carol Convertible? 372 00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:35,450 Suede? Who are you? 373 00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,887 I am making a pretty penny off all these foot freaks, 374 00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:40,281 especially this big spender Ari 13. 375 00:12:40,324 --> 00:12:42,239 You're making enough money off of this site 376 00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:44,894 to order a couch in a premium material? 377 00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:47,767 Mm-hmm. And matching barrel chairs! 378 00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,420 I love barrel chairs! 379 00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:51,074 I know! I'm getting them in linen. 380 00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:52,467 Linen?! Mm-hmm. 381 00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,948 That's not even in the same catalog! Mnh-mnh. 382 00:12:56,297 --> 00:13:06,176 ♪♪ 383 00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,011 Mom! 384 00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:17,797 Were you taking my money? 385 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,233 No! 386 00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:21,061 But I was gonna teach you a lesson 387 00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:24,542 about leaving your bag out where anyonecould steal from you. 388 00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:25,848 I'm not upset. 389 00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:28,459 I'm just deeply disappointed. 390 00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:37,468 ♪♪ 391 00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:44,824 Sarah, I need money, so... 392 00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:47,435 how do I set up an OnlyThrills page? 393 00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:49,741 And don't make fun of me. I'm a tragic character. 394 00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:57,271 Check it out. 395 00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:58,228 Wow! 396 00:13:58,272 --> 00:13:59,664 Is this for your foot video? 397 00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:01,362 For ourfoot video. 398 00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:03,059 I did a little bit of research, 399 00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:04,539 and I discovered that girl-on-girl foot-on-foot videos 400 00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:05,975 make twice the money. 401 00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,977 Like, three linen barrel chairs' worth. 402 00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:10,327 Really? Yes! Oh, and I also discovered 403 00:14:10,371 --> 00:14:13,591 that guys have a real thing for feet smushing fruit. 404 00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:15,898 Hmm. So if we can get the bananas to squish up 405 00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:18,161 through our toes, jackpot. 406 00:14:18,205 --> 00:14:19,989 Got it. Well, let's do it. 407 00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:21,208 Yeah? Okay. 408 00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:23,210 Jodie, you're a genius. Alrighty. 409 00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,559 After you. Thank you. 410 00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:28,171 Okay, now, every photoshoot needs music. 411 00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:31,087 I saw it on TV.Okay. Okay! 412 00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:32,784 Nope. No. No. 413 00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,090 What? 414 00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:35,744 Unh-unh. Jodie! Well, I was thinking -- 415 00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,050 Yeah? 416 00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:38,878 Your feet are fugly. I never noticed this before. 417 00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:40,009 This is crazy. 418 00:14:40,053 --> 00:14:42,098 What? They're not! 419 00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:45,014 Well, I mean, they are, but I-I don't want to -- 420 00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:47,887 I don't want to scare away my biggest paying fan, Ari 13. 421 00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,192 And mama needs a bar cart, 422 00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:50,933 and -- and your toes are bubbly. 423 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:54,197 Jodie! 424 00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:55,372 It's nothing to cry over. 425 00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:57,026 Just -- Just don't wear sandals. 426 00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:09,691 Hey. 427 00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,915 What's the emergency? 428 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:20,528 One of the guys on my crew has been bullying the other workers, 429 00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:23,226 so... I'm gonna have to fire him. 430 00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,925 You brought me here to --Watch. 431 00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:27,056 Okay. 432 00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,626 So... 433 00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:39,025 That's right, baby. I know your kink. 434 00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:41,636 Oh, my God. I'm so turned on right now. 435 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,072 Wait, wait, wait, though. Wait. What? 436 00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:45,292 I feel -- I kind of feel bad for this guy. 437 00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:46,771 No, don't. He's a bully. 438 00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,512 Yeah, but I mean, aren't we all bullies deep down? 439 00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:49,949 He drives slow in the fast lane. 440 00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:52,038 Ah, yeah. I'm back on board. 441 00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,956 Randy: Hey, Henry. You wanted to see me? 442 00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:58,392 Uh, yeah. Enjoy. 443 00:15:58,435 --> 00:15:59,654 Okay, okay. 444 00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:02,962 Have a seat, Randy. 445 00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,485 We got a problem. 446 00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:08,054 Your coworkers have been complaining 447 00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:11,318 about how you're treating them with disrespect. 448 00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:14,669 I won't have it. What? 449 00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:16,279 That's right. 450 00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:17,759 You're fired.Oh. 451 00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:19,891 You can't do that to me. 452 00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:21,241 Get off your high horse, Henry. 453 00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:23,112 Like you've never pushed anyone around before? 454 00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,332 Oh, I have. In fact, I'm doing it right now. 455 00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:27,464 Mmm. Goodbye, Randy. 456 00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:29,989 Grab your lunchbox and get the hell out of here. 457 00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:32,339 Oh.Unbelievable. 458 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,169 Mm.You ruined my life! 459 00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:40,869 Oh, that's so hot. 460 00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:45,265 Ah! 461 00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:46,570 So what are you doing this afternoon? 462 00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,050 Well, I'm gonna take the kids to the park 463 00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:49,486 and then to a -- A play-gym place, 464 00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,619 and then, um, probably go get some ice cream after. 465 00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:54,013 My God. Tell me how you don't go through red lights 466 00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:55,666 with them in the car, but talk fast. 467 00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,712 I also keep Wet Wipes in the center console now. Oh, my God. 468 00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:03,283 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, come on. 469 00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:04,806 What if this whole mother thing doesn't stick? 470 00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,416 Like, what if I wake up one day and I decide 471 00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:07,852 I want to go back to the way I was before Col died? 472 00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:10,681 Before I became a, like, an actual hands-on mother? 473 00:17:10,725 --> 00:17:12,683 In the afternoons. In the afternoons. 474 00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:15,295 Then you're disgusted by me? 475 00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:18,994 Babe, no matter what happens, we can always role play. 476 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,169 Mm. 477 00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:21,649 Now get out of here. I have work to do. 478 00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:22,824 You're so bossy. 479 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:24,608 You better be baking an apple pie in bed 480 00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:25,653 when I get home tonight. 481 00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:27,698 Or else what? Or else you're fired. 482 00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:34,618 I'm a loser. 483 00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:37,404 I buy drinks with craft store cards 484 00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:39,841 and I tried to steal money from my own kid. 485 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:43,192 Well, in fairness, she probably stole it from you. 486 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:46,413 Sarah, I am 39 and 3/4 years old, 487 00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:49,546 and I have nothing of my own. 488 00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:52,680 Mm. That isyour fault. 489 00:17:53,246 --> 00:17:54,725 You gave away all your power. 490 00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:55,944 You gave it all to Dan, 491 00:17:55,987 --> 00:17:57,337 and now you're afraid to ask for it back. 492 00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:58,860 No, that's the point. I don't want to ask. 493 00:17:58,903 --> 00:18:01,080 I want something that's just mine. 494 00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:04,474 I don't know where to start. 495 00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,694 And I've got ugly feet. 496 00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:07,912 Well... 497 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:13,527 And you're so smart and pretty and brave, 498 00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:18,009 and you weren't at all afraid to throw your entire life away 499 00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:21,100 to go after what you want, which is still very much TBD, 500 00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:23,363 but you're on your way. 501 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,453 Why are you even friends with me? 502 00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:29,456 Because you loaned me underwear 503 00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:31,284 when I sat on lemonade in first grade. 504 00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,546 You peed in your pants. 505 00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:34,722 But you told everyone it was lemonade. 506 00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:40,945 You are the kindest, most supportive, 507 00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:43,687 loyal friend that I've ever known. 508 00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:45,689 But I'm cheating on my husband. 509 00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:48,257 Yes, you are. 510 00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,433 But you are very loyal to those who deserve it, 511 00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:53,480 and, you know, we're both... 512 00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:55,612 smushing rotten fruit in a bathtub 513 00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:57,440 at 2:00 on a Tuesday afternoon, 514 00:18:57,484 --> 00:19:00,704 so I don't think either of us is doing very well. 515 00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:05,187 Come on. 516 00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:06,667 Get up. 517 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:10,279 Let's try to make a few bucks on those fugly bubble toes. 518 00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:11,672 Really? 519 00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:13,935 You think, uh, you think they can be pretty? 520 00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:16,416 Uh, I've got filters. 521 00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:19,593 You know, the big one would look cute with cat ears on it, 522 00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:21,464 like a -- like a chubby little, 523 00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:23,901 square, ingrown alley cat. 524 00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:25,555 Meow. Meow. 525 00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:26,643 Meow. 526 00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,167 Hey, d-- don't tag me in this. 527 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:29,820 This should be all you. 528 00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:31,518 There's a market for those feet. 529 00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:32,997 There are some real sickos out there. 530 00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:37,524 How did it go? She buy it? 531 00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,352 Hook, line, and sinker. 532 00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:41,267 I appreciate you doing that, pal. Yeah. 533 00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:44,270 Didn't realize she was gonna hit this right in there. 534 00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:46,315 Yeah, I was surprised, too. 535 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,361 What? Uh... 536 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:51,668 The hole goes both ways. 537 00:19:51,712 --> 00:19:54,323 Relax, all I saw were ankles and -- and knees. 538 00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:56,499 Or did I? 539 00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:59,241 Okay, you're actually fired. 540 00:20:03,158 --> 00:20:05,291 ♪♪ 541 00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:07,075 - Two lattes, please. - Okay. 542 00:20:07,118 --> 00:20:08,207 Uh, make it three. 543 00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:10,034 Hi. You look pretty. 544 00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:11,253 Oh, thanks. 545 00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,646 You're never late for coffee. What's up? 546 00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:14,865 Well, Henry and I worked out our stuff. 547 00:20:14,909 --> 00:20:17,216 You know, like, we reallyworked it out. 548 00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:18,695 Boffed. 549 00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,436 It still doesn't sound right when you say it, okay? 550 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,351 But guys, I found my kink, okay? 551 00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:26,007 Turns out Henry is a man, and I like it. 552 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,835 He is? Huh. 553 00:20:27,878 --> 00:20:31,099 Hey, this is on me. 554 00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:32,448 I got this. 555 00:20:32,492 --> 00:20:33,971 I may have only made $68 on OnlyThrills, 556 00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:35,364 but it was enough money for me to start 557 00:20:35,408 --> 00:20:36,539 my very own private bank account 558 00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:37,888 in my own name with my own money, 559 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,063 because I am my own woman. 560 00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:40,369 Good for you, Jodie. 561 00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:41,849 Oh, you got the card with the whales on it. 562 00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:44,243 - Sounds a little judgy. - Whales are great. 563 00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:48,247 Oh, no! What's wrong? 564 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:51,598 Guys, it's Ari 13's dad! 565 00:20:51,641 --> 00:20:53,817 Turns out Ari 13 is literally 13, 566 00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:56,080 and he was making it rain with his bar mitzvah money, 567 00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:57,343 and now they want it back. 568 00:20:57,386 --> 00:20:59,301 - Ooh. - Oh, boy. Oof. 569 00:20:59,345 --> 00:21:01,521 It was all dirty bar mitzvah cash. 570 00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:04,306 Wait, are you going to give it back? 571 00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:05,742 I don't know. Amy, what should I do? 572 00:21:05,786 --> 00:21:08,092 Oh, hell no. Screw that kid. 573 00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:09,746 Ah! Do you hear that? 574 00:21:09,790 --> 00:21:11,444 I'm not really a mother after all. 575 00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:13,707 I'm not that much of a mother. Oh, congratulations. 576 00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:14,751 Welcome back. 577 00:21:14,795 --> 00:21:17,058 - Ah! - I knew you'd never change. 578 00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:18,102 Phew.